Recently a friend of mine shared a quote from her father with me. She said that one of the business-related lessons he taught her was that when comes to dealing with other people, “There are two sides to every person - the person who they really are, and the person they think they are.” This bit of wisdom creates several important considerations for executives. When you prepare for any negotiation you need to prepare to negotiate with both who your counterparts really are, and who your … [Read more...]
Follow the Road Map
Believe it or not the process for interrogating someone suspected of stealing $10 from a till and the process for interrogating someone who is suspected of embezzling millions of dollars are remarkably similar. The dollar value of the investigation does not drive the strategy. The facts of the investigation and the characteristics of the suspects drive the strategy. The same approach applies to negotiating agreements and closing sales. … [Read more...]
It Takes Six to Tango
Behavior shifts do not occur in a vacuum. When two people are interacting and one or both of them experience a change in any emotion, that emotional change often manifests itself with a corresponding change in behavior. It is common for behavioral analysts to derive concrete meaning from these behavior changes. These concrete evaluations usually involve terms such as “always” and “never”. It is dangerous to draw such concrete conclusions and much more prudent to evaluate observed behavior … [Read more...]
Talking Is the Most Important Part of Listening
One of the most common questions clients ask me after I’ve completed an interrogation is, “How do you feel?” I usually surprise them when I respond with, “Tired.” Having a conversation with another person is a complicated affair. You have to simultaneously contribute your thoughts, listen to your counterpart’s thoughts, evaluate how your counterpart is responding to you, plan your next contribution and remember everything you are saying and hearing. This becomes more difficult as more … [Read more...]
Synonymous With Sales
Negotiate – Sell – Interrogate. Perhaps astonishingly, they are all one in the same. Great negotiators sell beneficial agreements; great sales professionals sell the perfect product or solution; and great interrogators sell the truth. All three processes involve at least two people communicating from opposite perspectives who use their preparation, experience, and training to learn about their counterparts and create middle ground from which they can achieve their end goal. While negotiations … [Read more...]
Less Stress – More Success
Preparation breeds confidence. Confidence reduces stress. Reduced stress allows us to think clearly, perform better and achieve more. High stakes interactions force you to juggle multiple cognitive tasks. Internally, you have to balance your fears, goals and motivations and think on the fly. Emotions such as fear, nervousness, and defensiveness can significantly limit your ability to handle these cognitive tasks. Simultaneously, you have external tasks you need to complete as well. You … [Read more...]
The Root Cause of Lying
By the end of an ordinary day you may have been on the receiving end of hundreds of lies. These lies range from the socially polite and harmless to the vengeful and criminal. I’ve heard some people express interest in catching every lie they are told. That doesn’t sound like a healthy desire to me. Imagine the relationships that would ruin, and how negative your outlook on life would become if you new every single time some one lied to you. While you are better off not catching every lie, … [Read more...]
